u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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