Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
