I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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