are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
