did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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