I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
