Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He did a backflip because drugs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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