susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
