I bet he comes in French.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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