nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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