k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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