I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize