Whod you bang
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
