i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
