You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
