so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
