Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
