You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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