he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
