4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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