How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
