The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize