I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
