it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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