I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
