wat bout pragnant strippers??
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My breasts were aching with rage.
Randomize