i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
