grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
