I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
