We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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