Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize