babies were throwing up all over the place
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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