your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
