I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
