He uses pillows to masturbate.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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