do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
