OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
