Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
