so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
