i would punch a child for taco bell
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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