her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
