all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
