I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize