girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
