Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
