My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
