Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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