I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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