i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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