Just fell off a train. Bad.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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