Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
