If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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