Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
