last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
