Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
