My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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