remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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