how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize