For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
