Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
