We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
