Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
