Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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