I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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