I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
