Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
