I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize